Family Fantasy
by Aeris Ultimate Wheer
Summary: The FF7 crew has to live together as a family, they're kinda screwed up, and they have no money! Will they ever get jobs? Will Sephiroth and Zack ever stop fighting? Will anyone ever answer the phone? Oo;; ABSOLUTELY NO FLAMING! please R
1. Breakfast

Hello again! It's me, Aeris! I was bored and I decided to write this story!!! ^__^  Everyone (including Sephiroth and Zack) have settled down in a house together. As a matter of fact, they settled down, n Aeris's house! Aeris and Cloud are married cause I had to have one couple…anyways! Let's begin (Oh yes…I don't own Final Fantasy or any of the characters. I also don't own Denny's the resteraunt.) And I'm sorry if sometimes the characters are a little OOC! Don't complain!

Cloud: So what do you want to do today smoochy-poo?

Aeris: That doesn't sound like something you'd say…O_o

Cloud: I'm happy today! Let's make everyone breakfast!

Aeris: Cloud we can't cook…

Cloud: And? I don't think it matters.

Aeris: Well that kinda means we should get someone else to do it…we do everything around here anyway.

Cloud: But no one else here knows how to cook.

Aeris: Well should we go out then?

Cloud: ^__^ Yay!

Aeris & Cloud: *skip along merrily up the stairs to wake up everyone*

Everyone: *snore snore*

(Note: Since Aeris's house would be extremely hard to fit like 11 people it some are scattered along the hallway)

Seph: Zzzzz…hehehe…no Aeris…let's go somewhere…more private…hehehe…*snore*

Aeris: O__o;; *kicks Sephiroth* Wake up! We are going to Denny's!!!!!

Seph: =^.^= Oh I love that place! *clings onto Aeris*

Aeris: Please get him off of me -.-;

Cloud: *prys off Seph* Get your own wife!

Yuffie: *is suddenly awake* You guys are married?

Cloud: Yeah, you went to our wedding last week. Remember?

Tifa: I think we were all drunk…^^;

Aeris: O_o; oh thanks a lot for your guys support. *rings bell* Breakfast!

Everyone: Food? Huh? Where? *sniff sniff*

Seph: We are going to Denny's!!!! *dances around*

Everyone: -__-;; *hops in car*

Vincent: Wait a minute we don't have car…

*car disappears*

Everyone: *hops on bikes*

Vincent: We don't have any bikes either…~__~;;;;;;

*bikes disappear*

Yuffie: Well than what do we have?

Red XIII: We don't have anything…

Cait Sith: I guess then we will all have to choose piggy back parters!

Everyone: **sighs** Not again…

Tifa: I get Cloud!

Aeris: Ahem…I'm married to him. *gets on Cloud*

Tifa: Well fine then…who wants to ride with me?

Seph & Zack: I wanted Aeris! ;_;

Cloud: Too bad! XD

Tifa: *chooses someone at random* *gets on Red XIII* 

Red XIII: -__- I'm not a horse…

Tifa: To bad! *^.^*

Yuffie: *jumps on Vincent*

Vincent: O_o *edges away*

Yuffie: Oh come on…*feeds Vincent hyper pills*

Vincent: ^_____^ 

Yuffie: *jumps on Vincent*

Vincent: *hops all the way to Denny's*

Yuffie: :::is yelling from restaurant::: We'll be waiting down here at the enterance!!!

Seph: -__- Fine but I get to carry Aeris back.

Zack: No you don't. *pushes Sephiroth*

Seph: You wanna fight? *starts fighting*

Cait Sith, Aeris, Cloud, Red XIII, and Tifa: O__o *runs away*

Seph and Zack: Hey wait up! 

*at Denny's*

::::::Later:::::::

Aeris: Yum that was good. 

Waiter: *gives bill*

Tifa: So how much was it?

Aeris: Oh it's just…$46.78

Cloud: Oh that's not that bad considering there is 11 of us.

Aeris: Yeah…*looks inside wallet* O_____O;;;;

Cloud: What it is?

Aeris: *holds up wallet* ;_; *moth flies out*

Tifa: Eh! Don't we have any credit cards?

Aeris: No remember we had so much dept we had to get rid of them!

Vincent: Are you saying we have NO MONEY?????????????????

Zack: Well me and Yuffie know something that can get us out of this…Tifa, listen here. You flirt with the waiter while we scidattle to the door. Got it?

Tifa: Ok. (not thinking that she'll be left behind)

Yuffie: Okay…one, two...THREE!!

Tifa: *dances up to waiter* Helllo…my, you're looking rather…breath taking today…my my my…

Seph: *snicker*

Zack: *whisper* when I give the signal, let's make a run for it…*makes signal* *everyone but Tifa runs out*

Tifa: Tee-hee…

Waiter: Eheh…^_^;;; Well miss, did you pay your bill???

Tifa: We can leave that for later…after we have a night on the town…

Waiter: I'm sorry but I'm going to have to make you pay.

Tifa: But I…

Waiter: You don't have any money do you?

Tifa: ^^;

Police who suddenly there: Sorry miss, you're goin to the slammer…

Tifa: NO NO! Help help heeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllpppppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!

::::later::::

Aeris: I wonder if Tifa made it out of there ok…

Cloud: I bet she;s having 'fun' with the old waiter…*snicker*

Aeris: Cloud…*hits him with rolling pin*

Cloud: Ouch, that hurt…

:::::in jail:::::

Tifa: I'm gonna get those rotten @@&^$(*&)_+_)&*%^….* *makes random curses*

Guy in cell: Hey hey hey baby, you wanna rassle?

Tifa: ___ *signals to gaurd*

Guard: Huh?

Tifa: Don't I get one phone call????

Guard: Uh…yeah I guess. *lets her out*

Tifa: *picks up phone and calls Aeris's house* Ring ring!

Red XIII: Someone pick up the phone.

Ring ring!

Aeris: I've been doing it all day…you do it.

Rung ring!

Red XIII: If you haven't noticed, I don't really have thumbs.

Ring ring!

Aeris: Well neither do I…

Ring ring!

Red XIII: What? Yes you do…

RING RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aeris: Fine I guess the machine got it…

Answering machine as Cloud's voice: Hello, you've reached the Str…well, actually,if you don't know what house you just reached you should check into getting a life. Even though there is never not one person in this house, I guess we just don't wanna pick up the phone right now. So if you leave you're name and number, we might, we just might, get back to you. Thanks! *beep*

Tifa on answering machine: You stupid @#(_+(+)*^ left me to get put in !$#(*_)+_ jail! You better come !@#(*+_) pick me up or when I get out I'll come over there and beat the living heel out of each and everyone one of you!

Everyone: O______o;;;;;;; *cricket noices* Gosh she sounds like Cid.

Cid: @$)%_$%@#(*&

Yuffie: Don't worry Tifa me and Vincent will get you out!

Seph: And so will me and Aeris!

Aeris & Vincent: What? No we…*are taken out of the house and dragged to the jail* -___-;;;

Yuffie: Ok, now first Seph flies Aeris and Vincy flies me up to the top over Tifa's jail cell, then, I break into the window my holding onto rope, swinging down and bustin' in!

Vincent: Yuffie we don't have any…

Yuffie: Ready go!

Seph: *flies Aeris up*

Aeris: Wait I don't wanna do this! X_x;;

Vincent: -__- *flies Yuffie up*

Yuffie: We're comin Teef…wait we don't have any rope!!!

_******_

_Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of: Family Fantasy_

_Will the get Tifa out of jail and get more money?? Find out…_

_******_

Lol…yeah, sorry everyone is a bit OOC! And the story will get better, promise!!! ^_~


	2. Wanted

Ok so maybe the characters are quite a bit OOC…still don't complain!!! And I know its mostly all text, sorry about that…I guess you could say I'm using the FF7 character bodies and making new personalities…muahahahahaha…*crackles* and okay, wtf is up with everyone saying there are grammer mistakes, ahhh…that's what 'spell check' is for. Idiots -.-; Unless your talking about me using 'gonna' and 'wanna'…would you really rather have me use 'going to' and 'want to'? -__-

***********************************

Yuffie: Hey Vincent, if I shave off you're hair you think I can make a rope??

Vincent: No.

Yuffie:…oh well, I'll use Sephiroth's too. Aeris's hair is just so pwetty…*hacks off Seph and Vincent's hair*

Vincent & Seph: WTF!!!!?????

Aeris: O__o;; Yuffie that was mean…

Yuffie: Do dee do…*ties up hair* Look! I rope! Hold this…*gives to Seph*

Seph: My…;_; my hair…my beautiful long silver hair!

Vincent: *pushes Seph* Quit complaining, mine is gone to, ya know?

Yuffie: Be quiet both of you. K? I'm gonna jump down…

Aeris: Are you sure you wanna go through with this Yuffie?

Yuffie: HIIIIIIYAAAAAAA!!!!! *breaks into Tifa's cell window*

Tifa: *_* What are you doing here Yuffie????

Yuffie:…I came to rescue you…

Tifa: Oh well rescue me then!

Yuffie: Well come here and grab my hand.

Tifa: No you come here and rescue me.

Yuffie: No you come here.

Tifa: No YOU come HERE!!!!!!!!!!

Aeris: *pop her head into the window* Hey, you guys, stop fighting and get going! We are going to be…*sirens go off* AHHHH! YOU GUYS HURRY!!!

Yuffie: *grabs Tifa* Come on! *leaps out the window* O___o Where is the rope?

Seph: I dropped it.

Yuffie &Tifa: O______X;;;;;; *are falling down building clinging onto each other* Help!

Vincent: I'm coming! *jumps down and lands on feet* I gotcha'!! *holds out arms*

Yuffie: Yay!! ^__^ *falls safely in Vincent's arms*

Tifa: Hey! *falls in dirt* Owww…;_;

Yuffie: Don't worry Tifa I still have ya.

Tifa: Your holding my hand…but I still landed on the ground…*cries*

Seph: Don't worry you can leave me and Aeris up here!

Aeris: NO! HELP HELP!

Seph: ^_^ *hugs Aeris* =^__^=

Aeris: You get offa me and I'll let you give me a piggy back ride home.

Seph: Huh? You will?? 

Aeris: Yup, now fly me down and then I can run home.

Seph: Okies. *flys Aeris down*

Sirens: RIIIINNNNGGG RIIINGGGGG!!!!!!

Aeris: Eh! Come on! *runs home*

Seph: Heyyy!!! ;_;

Yuffie: Come on! *hops home*

:::Back at home:::

Cid: Hey what took you guy so #$^&^)_)@ long??

Aeris: Hey watch your mouth!!

Cloud: Oh Aeris I'm so glad you're back…*embraces her*

Everyone: O___o;;;;

Aeris: Eheh, yeah…right Cloud.

Red XIII: Hey is that a knock on the door??

Tifa: I don't know go answer it.

Red XIII: No, you go answer it.

Tifa: **_YOU _**go answer it.

Red XIII: Why the @%$#^) should I answer it!!???

Aeris: Hey you watch it too mister! There are ladies present!

Cid: Oh my virgin hears are soiled by the foul words!!

Aeris: O__o;;;;;;;; What? Ugh never mind…*goes and answers the door* Hellllo?

Cop: Hello? Is this the Strife residence?

Aeris: Uh no why would you say that?? ^_^;;

Cop: Well than have you seen these three people? *holds up picture* This women here is Tifa Lockheart. She escaped from prison. She was helped by this girl and this man. There were two other people, but we didn't get a clear view of them. Can you help us??

Aeris who suddenly has a paper bag on her head: Oh no good-bye! *slam door* Lock the doors! The cops found us!!

Everyone: O___O *starts shutting windows and such*

Aeris: Phew…we're safe.

Yuffie: So what now? Are we just gonna stay in here until we all die????

Vincent: We might have to start eating each other to survive…

Aeris: Don't be silly! I have some baked beans and soup in the…*looks in cupboard*  O.o; uh, we must have SOME food laying around here.

Cloud: *munching on bananas* Uh…not anymore…

Aeris: Cloud!!! Spit those back up!

Cloud: Hey if you knew how to cook them we wouldn't have this problem!

Everyone else: *watches argument* *whisper whisper* common husband wife arguments…*whisper whisper*

Aeris: Maybe I would cook if we had any food! You're the one who's supposed to make money, and what do you do? Slack off!?

Cloud: Me slack off? Look at you!

Aeris: Look at me what?

Cloud: What I mean is you're just as bad! Can't you get that through you're tiny little head?

Aeris: I hate you!!

Cloud: ;_; That hurt…

Aeris: Oh I'm Cloud I'm so sorry…*smooch*

Cloud: I love you Aeris…*smooches back*

Aeris: Me too…*making out*

Tifa, Seph, and Zack: Okay break it up!!!

::::Later at night they are sitting at the dinner table::::

Zack: So how are we going to get money?

Seph: Go to the bank maybe?

Red XIII: If you have forgotten, we are locked up in this house. We can't go anywhere.

Yuffie: Oh yes we can, Barret, tomorrow, let's you and me go to the bank. Red XIII will come too.

Red XIII: What? I don't wanna come.

Yuffie: *glare*

Red XIII: Ok I'm coming…

::::The next day::::

Yuffie dressed up as lonely street girl: Ok let's go.

Red XIII: *trying to walk* Eheh…*dressed up like Cloud*

Red XIII: *waddles over to rich looking person* Oh, please help this little girl, she's starving and alone and has no money. I don't have any money to give her and I was hoping you could help…

Yuffie: Oh oh yes ma'am…you look like such a wonderful person, and my life has been so terrible. *dramatic violin music starts playing* Can you spare…me some change? ;__;

Rich lady: Awwww…*hands her packet of bubble gum* I hope this helps…

Yuffie: …*looks at it* -____- Thanks a lot...*swears under her breath*

Lady: Any time ^_^ *pats Yuffie's head and walks away* 

Yuffie: *grumble gumble*

Red XIII: ~___~; I hope Barret's having more luck than us. *invasions*

Barret: Okay everyone I'm gonna be takin the money from the bank now and if anyone objects than I'm gonna be takin' yo smart ass down!

Red XIII: -.-; Never mind.

Yuffie: Well we'll go to the bank and see.

*they walk to the bank seeing some big guy rush past*

Yuffie: Whoa…you think people would like, be considerate ~_~

Red XIII: *waddles in*

Yuffie: *walks up to person* Did you see a huge black guy come in here?

Person: Ooo! That guy! You wanna know what happened? Okay, here goes…first he burst into the doors and…

Barret: Okay everyone I'm gonna be takin the money from the bank now and if anyone objects than I'm gonna be takin' yo smart ass down!

Everyone: O_O! *drop silent*

Barret: *walks into safe and takes money* Thanks! *runs away*

Bank Person: …at least he didn't hurt anyone O__o; *everyone goes on with life*

Yuffie: O_____o;; *runs out to tell Red XIII*

Red XIII: So?

Yuffie: *tells him*

Red XIII: …-____________-

Yuffie: O_o? eh, we have to get find him X_-; *climbs on Red XIII and they sprint away*

=Meanwhile at Home=

Sephiroth: I'm soo starving @_@; *grabs onto Aeris's leg*

Aeris: O_________O!!!! *jumps up* What was THAT?

Cloud: *kicks Sephiroth away* You're like some sex-starved pervert ;;

Sephiroth: …Well I've been called a lot of things, but that has not EVER been one of them. I was ONLY hungry…

Aeris: Tch…

Sephiroth: -__-;

*Yuffie, Barret and Red XIII come bursting through the door*

Yuffie: Barret robbed the bank!! O__O!

Aeris: Why did you do that?!?!

Sephiroth: Well at least we got money now! ^_^

Tifa: *calls pizza place* I'm gonna order Pizza!

Cloud: Hey you think that we are like…criminals now? O_o?

Aeris: You know, I really don't know ~_~;

Cloud: Maybe we should have let everyone stay at our house…we could have had a happy life…but everyone's here just to put misery on us

Aeris: ^^;;;;; But everyone's our friend!

Cloud: Damn your wonderful kind heart!

Aeris: O_o;

*doorbell rings*

Vincent: *right near door* someone get that.

Cid: YOU @%&%) get it.

Vincent: No you get it. 

Yuffie: I'LL get it…

Pizza guy: Whoa, I like…totally came all the way here and no one would answer the door man…like, totally rude!

Yuffie: O____o;; *SCARED* *takes pizza* how much do I owe you? ^_^?

Pizza guy: …um $35

Yuffie: Geez you guys are expensive! Do you have any tens and fives in that sack, Barret?

Barret: *shakes head*

Tifa: Um, I got some here! *pulls in out of her shirt*

Cloud: …Tifa where did you get that?

Tifa: …………Um I'm…a professional dancer ^^;;

Aeris: Oh okay ^__^

Tifa: Eheheh…

Yuffie: *takes and gives it to Pizza guy*

Guy: *walks away*

Sephiroth: Okay let's eat!! *snarfs pizza*

Everyone: *also does*

=afterwards=

Aeris: *yawns* I'm gonna go take a shower…*walks upstairs*

Sephiroth&Zack: *follow*

Cloud: -________-;;;; *blocks the stairs* YOU will wait until she's DONE. *walks upstairs*

Aeris: *takes off her jacket thing* *sees Cloud walk in* O__o;;;;;;;;; CLOUD?! What are you doing in here?

Cloud: …well we're married right?

Aeris: ~_~; We've been for like…2 days -.-; I'll just shower by MYSELF.

Cloud: *puppy eyes*

Aeris: Oh GAWD I HATE it when he look like that…it SCARES me __; 

Cloud: ^__^

Aeris: *turns on water* …*water doesn't start* hmmm it's not working *tries again* Cloud the waters not working!

Cloud: *also tries* Ehhh we paid the water bill right?

Aeris: I thought…that you did…

Cloud: Nooooo

Aeris: We have NO WATER.

Cloud: *swears* ERRRR *runs down stairs* Did ANYONE pay the GODDAMN water bill?

Everyone: ^^;;

Aeris: Settle down! *runs down to Cloud* It's not their fault…we'll just like…send the money and everything will be good again.

Cloud: *grumble*

Yuffie: there's a waterfall in the back of your house right? Why don't we just use that? ^__^

Aeris: Good idea! ^___________^

Sephiroth: And we can all take showers together!

Zack: Yeah!

Tifa, Aeris, and Yuffie: Um…NO.

Cloud: Hey everyone…seeing as how we just figured out something, and it somewhat a good thing, anyone wanna go do something fun?

Aeris: O_o; what?

Cloud: Let's go shopping!! XDD

Yuffie: YEAH!! WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!  

_*******************************_

_So, now that they have to use the waterfall for water, what will happen?_

_What to come of their shopping trip?_

_Will anyone get caught by the police seeing as how no one ever watches TV and they are wanted criminals?_

_******************************_

Ehehe…different chapter O_o;; Um, I guess…it weird and a little plot less XD;; But yeah, once again…DON'T flame and DON'T criticize. Criticizing is still being mean, and that stupid phrase 'constructive criticism' or whatever….eh only make suggestions. Nice suggestions…no one likes to be put down. *nods*


End file.
